Chrissie’s story: “I’ve gone from existing for 40 years to living now.”

I’ve been agoraphobic since I was in my late teens. And really stopped going outside in the 1980’s. I haven’t been in a shop or anyone else’s house since then.

My mum was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, and because I was at home with agoraphobia, I ended up being a co-carer for her with my dad. Unfortunately, my dad is an alcoholic, and because he was drinking, I was 24/7 trying to cope with him and my mum.

It was a hard thing and I had no one to talk to, my mental health deteriorated even more.

I got told about Step One through a link that my doctors mental health team sent me. I was in a bad place in my head and I just needed to connect with people, because I’ve been isolated for over 40 years.

The peer support groups is where I started and fortunately, the first one I went to was the Christmas quiz. I love quizzes.

I didn’t put my camera on for 2 or 3 months because of social anxiety. I didn’t speak very much. I started going to the Wednesday one as well. And any course that was sort of something that I could associate with, like the OCD course.

Once I realised how safe they (the groups) were to talk to and to share things with
and they all have so much knowledge, not just the facilitators,
but the people who are on the peer groups.

My confidence level has gone from zero to way up here.

When I started the peer support group, they talked about gratitude and I thought “oh that’s stupid”. But then I started doing it every morning. I felt like it set me up for the day. I stopped worrying so much and that’s made an awful lot of difference.

I always say I’ve gone from existing for 40 years to living now. Which is exactly what it feels like. I know it’s quite a drastic statement, but it’s true in my eyes.

I didn’t realise how much hard work it was until I had done it. It’s almost like you’re doing it little by little and you think “I’m not really getting anywhere”, And then suddenly you realise you have got somewhere very positive and somewhere you really want to be, rather than where you were.

As a participant, I would say you can gain so much more than you think you can just by talking and listening as well.

Try BeWell@StepOne because they’re non-judgmental. You find people there who are like you, even if they don’t have the same thing as you, it’s surprising how everything overlaps.

Now I’ve got the confidence. I know I’ve got people around me I can talk to.

I’m just learning to find me now, I think, which is fantastic. It’s nice to find me at last again. But I can’t believe where I am saying that now to where I was a year ago.

I feel like I found my spot in the world if you like.